if there is one thing that i've learned in my 22 years of existence it's this: that almost everybody wants to be different, special. that it's almost like a crime to be in anyway mediocre, ordinary, average or normal. but what's so bad in not being extraordinary anyways?
you may be wondering why i am discussing this now. if you are, then let me indulge you. i have been attempting to write about anything in the last couple of months but ironically, as much as i have a lot to say, i could not put them into words. i have done a lot of interesting things, felt the whole range emotions one can feel but nothing seem to come to mind everytime i try to post here. i always end up with a blank slate.
it is only when i got into my bus ride home saturday morning that out of the blue i came up with something i want to write about. something i have to write about. one of the reasons i love commuting home on early mornings is the fact that i feel completely on my own, and that get to think of anything i want. i get to reflect, talk to God, and sometimes, daydream. it is the most time to myself i can get, even with a lot of strangers around.
so there i was, enjoying the peace and the music i cannot travel without when i realized, that i even though may not live the life most people dream of, here i am, seemingly content and strangely happy. i am not entirely sure why, but i am. maybe because for the first time in a long time, i felt like i am truly honest to myself and that i am not pretending to be someone i'm not: someone out of the ordinary.
in this world we are burdened to shine, to excel and try the hardest in order be noticed, appreciated or in worst cases, to just be fit to survive. but when you look at it, sometimes, it's not so bad to be plain.
take yours truly for example, i realized that while i dreamed of being a performer; to sing, dance and play instruments on stage, i believe that i have come to terms with the fact that i never mastered any instrument, and though others might say i have a good voice, that voice don't seem to come through whenever i want it to, and that i still don't look like a gifted dancer though i have been dancing eversince i was 4. it's all good.and it's actually nice to be writing all of these out.
though i am saying mediocrity isn't a crime, i'm not implying we needn't work hard to reach a dream. but sometimes we tend to stretch ourselves too far that we forget who we really are. this consequently breeds disappointment, frustration, discontentment and then ultimately, grief. acceptance is the key.
p.s. the title of this post was the former title of my old blog, the one i started in college, before i renamed it 'stuck in a moment'. the phrase is synonymous to 'extraordinarily normal'. such a coincidence i am writing about it again a few years later.