weeks before my first relationship ended, the person who was with me then asked me to download this song for him. at the time i had no idea what it was about and due to our prehistoric internet connection, and all the chaos that came afterwards, i finished downloading the song only months after. when we were already over.
when i heard it for the first time, i cried. because the minute i realized what the message of the song was, i knew it was his song for me. for us. it was a beautiful song. the lyrics and melody were pure genius. and it was bittersweet.
through the years the song had become one of my favorites, a playlist staple, and whenever i am somewhere where sugarfree is playing, i'd always wish that they'd play burnout.
now, two years into my second relationship, the song is once again seeping into my consciousness, hitting a nerve any chance i get to hear it. i think i'll never understand how some people could write such a song - one that puts words into my mouth, tears into my eyes, and expresses what my heart is desperately wanting to say.
they say when two people are meant to be, fate will always find a way to bring them back together. no matter what has been said and done, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. some people might find it a bit shallow to believe in destiny, but i guess more prefer to hold on to something that may help them cope with the pain of being part of something that won't seem to last.
i guess you got the gist of what i'm trying to say. to be honest, i do not know what state i'm in right now. all i can do is work til i'm too tired to think; surround myself with as many friends for as long as possible in a day (a big thanks to my dear friends icar, pauljohn and nico, to my startgroup and to the rest of my AM family); talk to my mother who has done everything from giving me sound advice, to sending me funny instant messages everyday just to make me laugh; and lastly, pray that whatever comes out of this another episode in my life, may i never forget how thankful i am that i was and am loved. and hopefully, next time, nothing will ever get burnt out again. ever.
"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."
Welcome to Stuck In A Moment. This is Iya, and this is MY story.
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